First of all we want to thank everyone for the constant prayers, help and support in this extremely difficult time. Also in honor of sweet Kloe I choose to make our blog pink! (not a color I would ever have for anything).
We wanted to fill everyone in on what's been happening lately. It's been hard for Mark have to explain everything over and over, and for those who know me, know I can hardly talk about anything without getting emotional. So I'm sorry I cannot call and personally talk with a lot of you. I am no writer by any means, but I feel like it's the best way to be able to explain all the things that have been going on in detail, for those who would like to know.
I am currently pregnant with sweet baby Kloe Evelyn, who will be exactly 20wks tomorrow (July 22nd). We have definitely had some complications since early on but none that raised to much of a concern. The early ultrasounds came out great, with no issues concerning baby girl.
Until a couple weeks ago when I started having mild bleeding and we went to the E.R. I was put on some antibiotics for an infection, and then last week when my lab results came in it was determined that I had a urinary tract infection. I immediately started the antibiotics for that and made an apt. to see our doctor to follow up. Then just this last Monday, the 19th, we returned to the E.R. when I started having heavier bleeding. They checked me out, and as far as we knew everything was ok. They did recommend that we push up my doctor's appointment to as soon as we can. Which we now no is because they couldn't really disclose to much info, but I'm sure saw the problem.
Thankfully we were able to see our doctor early yesterday morning. I was fully checked out and he then discovered that there is no amniotic fluid. We were immediately sent to see a specialist for more testing and conformation. Basically yesterday we were told that Kloe is inside at a perfect size with a perfect heart beat not able to survive. This could have been caused by the infection, or for no medical reason at all. All we know is that without amniotic fluid her organs will not develop past this 5 month stage, and will start shutting down one by one in order to stay alive.
We were giving a couple options (which were all such a blur for Mark and I to hear at the time). We were told that as long as she is inside in utero she will most likely stay alive, unless her organs shut down completely before she reaches full term. However even if she reached that point none of her organs would be at all developed and she would never survive on her own. We have decided to release her from the womb and allow her to go to heaven where we will one day get to see her again. Carrying her to term and delivering her stillborn could not only cause quite a few complications for myself, but be VERY difficult emotionally for the three of us knowing that there is a 0% chance of her survival.
This morning we met with our doctor again (who by the way couldn't be a great gift for God in this time!). We needed to discuss our decision and this procedure. Unfortunately however I will have to be induced and fully deliver her like normal. Not that any way is a good way, I just know that this will be extremely difficult. She is to large for any other method. It will be really hard to be in the maternity ward for 2 or 3 days and come out without her in our arms.
This will all be happening next week sometime. We will not have a for sure date until later on Monday.
This has been an extremely hard week for the 3 of us, but we trust God's plan and timing and are finding great comfort in all this. We love our sweet Kloe Evelyn and always will, and she will always be a part of this family and our lives.
I will post something after everything takes place explaining how things wen. Again thank you for prayers, and we would definitely appreciate if you kept them coming, especially in these upcoming weeks.
Love, Mark, Jen, Conner
(and our soon to be angel) Kloe
5 comments:
Oh my dear ones...my heart is aching right now. So many things in this life that I just don't understand.
Please know that we are praying for you 3 to sense and know God's presence and feel His hugs. I know that Jesus is weeping right along side you.
May He give you the strength to walk through this difficult time.
We love you! The Sachers
Full of sadness for all of you...we know that God is good even when we can't understand why He allows what He does. He will give you comfort and strength to face today and all the days ahead without your baby daughter - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and depend not on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." (Proverbs 3:5-6) - our prayers are with you...
How extremely hard for you all. My heart breaks for you. We will be thinking of you all and sending well wishes.
The Neujahr's
Oh Jen, Mark & Conner, we are so sorry and will keep you in our prayers. We know that Kloe is a blessing beyond all imagination, even in this. We love you-
Tim & Karen Platner
my heart aches for your family in this difficult time.
praying that god will strengthen you through the process.
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